A thought or two

Although we all have dreams of what we want to become or of what we had hoped to become, most of us take an all-or-nothing approach to it. I know I do. It wasn't until yesterday that I realized it doesn't have to be that way. There is a middle path. We may get paid a little less, we may work a little harder but all-in-all, we'd be a lot happier. I guess what I'm saying is, a lot of us treat our jobs as temporary, a stepping stone of sorts ... only to realize that our dreams may never come true. We then realize that the stepping stone was actually an island ... an island we never managed to get off of.

Needless to say, I got a new job.

(courtesy of www.oldgamesdb.com)

Time gone by

It's been about a month since my last post and to be fair, it's been over two since I made a real one. It would take about another three to write about it all so I think I'll just look forward instead of back. And yet in looking forward ... I can't help but look back.

I have dreams. Or is it spirit?? And why are people so intent on crushing it? I'm fine, I'm happy but I often wonder ... what happens to us?

We've all been through the ringer a few times, I know, it changes us. Sometimes for the better but mostly for the worse. But why??

Life is uncertain yet death is guaranteed.
The world is uncontrollable yet everything is connected.
Your possessions are yours yet you own nothing.

Strip away all the names and labels and dollars and cents. All that we are, all that is left, are our intentions ... our dreams.

I pray that I never give up on my dreams. I pray you never give up on yours.

(photo: courtesy of wikipedia)

Almost good news

I'm finding it really hard to blog these days. Not because I'm bored or too busy, but mostly because I'm keeping my mouth shut. I used to just blog what was on my mind but what is now on my mind is confidential ... for now.

I'm working ... hard. And hopefully this project will come together and then I can share it with all of you.

I can't wait. I hope it really happens ^__^

Eureka!

"I think therefore I am."

I am therefore you are.

'You are' and 'I am' therefore we share.

---------------------

I guess what I'm trying to is ... we're all in this together. Our lives, our decisions, as a society and as individuals ... we are all responsible.

in chains

Colour. Colours. Endless colours. I wish I had them all. Blues and greens and purples ... the neons the flourescent the glowing ... all of them ... more of them ...

I would splash it on all the walls around me. I would make people colourful. Everybody. Everywhere. I would scream ... and yell ... and destroy things.

I'd make new things ... and paint them.

...

And yet, as I write this, everything around me is colourless ... empty.

I'm feeling kinda colourful at the moment. Found this on deviant art ...

Never thought it would happen to me.

So it's official ... I'm a certifiable workaholic. I wake up to work, eat while I work, and sometimes even dream about work - that's right, dream-about-WORK!! And now, here I am, blogging about it too. That's the last I'll write of it.

I wonder who said "when life gives you lemons make lemonade". I fucking hate lemonade. Gimme some Welch's grape juice and I'm good to go. I guess what I'm saying is nothing comes from nothing and you can't use lemons to make grape juice.

It's been a while everyone, much luv --neutron

A day in my shoes ...

There's a big black jeep on my back. Tailgating me hard. You have no idea how many bad drivers I run into in a day. A greater part of my time is spent driving around from site to site solving people's problems. All-the-meanwhile, I swirve and swirl trying to avoid your little granny who can hardly see over the wheel and testosterone Bill who thinks passing that extra car makes his penis a little larger.

There's a big black jeep on my back. Tailgating me even harder. He presses but I don't respond. I look back now, wanting to get a good look at my adversary. He's old but still lively. He has a long white beard and is very neatly groomed. His hat is red, lined in white and has a matching coat too.

I can't help but laugh aloud. And it doesn't go unnoticed. He backs off ... he knows the battle is lost too.

The Square of Life

I hate karaoke!

Listening to your own voice is always an odd out-of-body experience. I should also add that I mean that in a literal sense and not the figurative. You know, like recording your own voice and playing it back to yourself. Admitedly fun as a child but kinda creepy as an adult. After such a long blog gap, this is sorta how I feel ... on the outside looking in.

Life really is a series of ups and downs. Not too long ago, I felt very alone in a very uphill battle. In exactly one hour, I'm going in to negotiate a contract for a very prestegious engineering sales&marketing position. 24 hours ago, I signed a lease for a beautiful condo in the heart of downtown Mississauga. And in 48 hours time, I'll be married to a beautiful woman whom I love dearly.

Two months ago, I was not the person I am today. Nor will I be the same tomorrow. Keep your head up people. It may be bad today but good tomorrow. The opposite is also true.

Louie's Loose Tooth - After thoughts

I was initially intending to narrate a quick childhood story about the tooth fairy in my household but instead ended up with the post below. Quite honestly, I have no idea how or why that happened ... it just sort of did. Now if I only had someone to draw me up some illustrations ...

Anyway, we never really believed in the tooth fairy when we were kids. Instead, my mom would say if you threw the tooth high enough, the sun would reach down and catch it. She would throw it so high and far and we would watch in amazement and swear that we could see the sun move a little.

One day Louie actually found one of those astronomical teeth on our yard and mom had some serious explaining to do. She suggested that perhaps she wasn't strong enough anymore and that my oldest brother, Huey, would have to take her place. Huey took this task very seriously and would throw it with all his might. We never did find another tooth.

xoxox, love u mom!

The Pieces

In response to my previous post, Lou asked a very obvious and long over-due (on my part) question:

"For the great unwashed and uninformed, just what is your Masters going to be in?"

This came as a real surprise because I can't figure out how I managed to overlook this detail. Anyway ... (drum roll please) ...

I can fix one of these ...

I wear one of these ...

I own one of these ..And these ...

But would never get one of these ...

Who am I?? A mechanical engineer!!! And don't worry, contrary to popular belief, nerdiness is not THAT contagious.

Tell your children ...

4 years undergraduate studies
+ 1 year internship
+ 2 years master's studies

____________________________

= A lot of catching up to do


In four weeks time it'll all be over and I can hardly wait. Was it all worth it? Hard to say ... but what I can say for sure is that there must have been a better way. The title of this post was inspired by The Animals song, "House of the Rising Sun". Kinda depressing, I know, so here's a little 'pick-me-up' video (click on pic) I like to watch from time to time. Should do the trick ... sorta, kinda, maybe ...

Peculiar day.

I sleep late and wake up early. Work is piling on and I feel the crunch. I sleep again and wake up earlier this time. The cycle perpetuates and feeds itself. Like an angry beast it wants more and more and grows bigger and uglier. It becomes a glutton and eventually out grows itself and can no longer support its own weight. The system fails.

People, I'm experiencing system failure.

The weird thing is, I don't actually stop working during my system failures, things just slow down. Waaaay down. Take for example this computer model I'm making. Under normal conditions, I could make it in three hours ... I'm currently on 28.

Oddly enough, it's when I'm at my lowest that the most awkward things come about. I walk into my office and notice a bee on the ground. A bee so magnificent and beautiful, with wings so large that even a bird would be jealous. I carefully examine the bee, wondering why such a strong and glorious thing was on the floor. I kneel down before it and no reaction. I carefully brush it with my hand ... and it moves, but ever so slightly. Maybe it's wings are damaged? Nope, they're perfect. Maybe an appendage had been crushed? Nope, not that. Hmm ... I suspect foul play. It's probably poison. What to do with a poisoned bee? I probably should mention that I've wanted a pet bee for quite a long time. I know, kinda weird, but we'll save that for another post. Anyway, maybe I can take him home and nurture him back to good health. Maybe he'll somehow learn to identify me and sort of connect with me. Maybe I'm being childish and there's a half dead bee in front of me that is suffering terribly. All it takes is one swift stomp and royalty is gone forever.

I skip off work half-an-hour early. It's been a long day, system failure remember? I'm really rushing home ... I mean I've had enough and the fact that I'm rushing home, pretending I have something better waiting for me but don't, is besides the point. I'm rushing home and the last light before my house is red. I jay-walk without seconding guessing because that's how we roll. Anyway, two seconds later some mom is cussing me out because I jay-walked in front of her kid as she was trying to teach the child what not to do. Okay, not the best of things on my part, but I was pissed. I could sit here and tell you what right does she have and blah blah blah. But I won't, I'll just do what I did with her.

I just walked away.

(Courtesy of: www.shout.ru)

5AM Poetry - The Travelers Conundrum

I'm East of West
Yet West of East.

Neither here nor there.

I'm South of North
Yet North of South.

Nor there or there.

East calls me West
While West calls me East.

Per chance there and there.

And South calls me North
While North calls me South.

If not here then where?

Which book are you?

I've been meaning to make this post for some time now but never got around to it. Staying true with 7aki's chain of narration, I stole it from here who stole here who stole it from here.

Anyway, which book are you? Take the quiz!

Here are my results ...

You're The Catcher in the Rye!
by J.D. Salinger

You are surrounded by phonies, and boy are you sick of them! In an ongoing struggle to search for a land without phonies, you end up running away from everything, from school to consequences. In this process, you reveal that many people in your life have suffered torments and all you really want to do is catch them as they fall. Perhaps using a baseball mitt. Your biggest fans are infamous psychotics.

Incidently, I own this book --in fact, this same exact copy! Kinda creepy. Definitely one of my favourite books and in a lot of ways, I do share Holden's sentiments about people. With exception to having a pyschopathic following (ahem ... I hope), I think it's bang on ... at least during a few stages in my life.

Brave Soldier Boy - Interpretation.

I hope you all enjoyed the poem I posted yesterday. Just wanted to share some thoughts on it.

THE SETTING

We're presented with an old man who alone is celebrating the birthday of his son. And although his son is not present, he does however have a picture. It's not entirely obvious, but his son is actually wearing military attire. Indeed, a helpful hint and noteworthy point, but it's not actually necessary for understanding the poem itself ... at least my understanding of it anyway.

THE INTERPRETATION

"Leaves from the vine
Falling so slow"

Although a very pleasant image, fall symbolizes a change in season and usually of one from life to death.

"Like fragile tiny shells
Drifting in the foam"

Again very gentle and pleasant but shells only drift when they're uninhabited and when the shell itself is all that remains.

"Little soldier boy, come marching home "

Here he is referring to his son and asking him to return home. Note, this next part is heart breaking ...

"Brave soldier boy, comes marching home"

Like any parent, when the hurt is most severe, the dream (of return) is realized.

Brave Soldier Boy.

Hi everyone. I have a very special post for you today and would like your utmost attention. I’ve attached a poem for your listening/viewing (click on pic) and the words for you to follow. Believe it or not, it’s actually from a cartoon (Avatar) that I came across by chance. Having said that and at the risk of sounding completely foolish … it actually really moves me … and sometimes even to tears.

Anyway, just thought I’d share it with you all. I’d love to hear what it means to you.

Leaves from the vine

Falling so slow

Like fragile tiny shells

Drifting in the foam

Little soldier boy, come marching home

Brave soldier boy, comes marching home

day with the in-laws.

my fiancée's cousin just gave birth to a healthy baby boy but happens to live 500 km away (from my fiancée that is). i just so happen to lie somewhere in the middle so on their way there, they picked me up and was there for the long haul. now don't misunderstand me, the in-laws are great. we get along super well and i love them to bits, but being in a long distance relationship, well you know what they say ... two is company.

anyway, you know, we did all that family stuff (which i enjoy) but at the end, when we were all tired and had been driving around for way too long and should've been totally irritated with one another - that's when something magical happened ... we connected. and i mean all of us. like one of those moments you see in tv where everyone's happy, smiling, laughing and in love ... magic. I truly feel fortunate to have had this day. I am honoured to be apart of this family. And I am completely and utterly in love.