Wednesday, July 9, 2008

Peculiar day.

I sleep late and wake up early. Work is piling on and I feel the crunch. I sleep again and wake up earlier this time. The cycle perpetuates and feeds itself. Like an angry beast it wants more and more and grows bigger and uglier. It becomes a glutton and eventually out grows itself and can no longer support its own weight. The system fails.

People, I'm experiencing system failure.

The weird thing is, I don't actually stop working during my system failures, things just slow down. Waaaay down. Take for example this computer model I'm making. Under normal conditions, I could make it in three hours ... I'm currently on 28.

Oddly enough, it's when I'm at my lowest that the most awkward things come about. I walk into my office and notice a bee on the ground. A bee so magnificent and beautiful, with wings so large that even a bird would be jealous. I carefully examine the bee, wondering why such a strong and glorious thing was on the floor. I kneel down before it and no reaction. I carefully brush it with my hand ... and it moves, but ever so slightly. Maybe it's wings are damaged? Nope, they're perfect. Maybe an appendage had been crushed? Nope, not that. Hmm ... I suspect foul play. It's probably poison. What to do with a poisoned bee? I probably should mention that I've wanted a pet bee for quite a long time. I know, kinda weird, but we'll save that for another post. Anyway, maybe I can take him home and nurture him back to good health. Maybe he'll somehow learn to identify me and sort of connect with me. Maybe I'm being childish and there's a half dead bee in front of me that is suffering terribly. All it takes is one swift stomp and royalty is gone forever.

I skip off work half-an-hour early. It's been a long day, system failure remember? I'm really rushing home ... I mean I've had enough and the fact that I'm rushing home, pretending I have something better waiting for me but don't, is besides the point. I'm rushing home and the last light before my house is red. I jay-walk without seconding guessing because that's how we roll. Anyway, two seconds later some mom is cussing me out because I jay-walked in front of her kid as she was trying to teach the child what not to do. Okay, not the best of things on my part, but I was pissed. I could sit here and tell you what right does she have and blah blah blah. But I won't, I'll just do what I did with her.

I just walked away.

(Courtesy of:


chika said...

I sense despair not only a system shutdown - failure.. contemplate a vacation even if for a few days.. I know what it's like, I even isolate myself when I switch off..

bees as pets!? hmm.. ! yeah you are weird but they are fascinating creatures I gotta admit..

Hope you get out of this cycle soon

Paul Pincus said...

I just walked away.

love it!

you're amazing. but you already know that ; )

Fleur said...

I sleep late and wake up early too. My friends get irritated that my idea of a sleep-in is sleeping til 7am.

I changed my blog url to so I thought I'd stop by and let you know. =]

I hope things get better for you soon!

neutron said...

Chika, I'm heading out to Toronto for the weekend. A little time with friends and family is all I probably need.

Paul, you're a pal man. Thanks!

fleur, I thought I lost you there. Thanks for keeping me posted ^__^