Thursday, August 14, 2008

Questions for your answers

Often times I write these blogs without fully comprehending why it is I'm doing it. Is it a form of self-gratification? Perhaps. I write something, sometimes people respond and that feels good. Or maybe I'm a sheep, with dillusions of a sheppard and write with hopes of helping. Possible. Fun, that's another possibility. Blogging can be fun as is the meeting and greeting and sharing of ideas.

All very possible. But at 1 am, things have a way of looking different and somehow questions seem to answer themselves. I know I must be up at five ... four hours of sleep left ... potentially. That is, if I stop right now, press cancel, close my laptop, shut my eyes, forget about the world, forget about you ... and sleep.

Oh perceptive reader,
Read closely.
For often time
there is a message
between the line.

I am you
with a thousand pains
and not a single lie.

Deception is disease.
Deceive oneself.
Kill oneself.

It says only what you ask of it.
Do we then call it liar?
Nay, you feast upon it and vitiate it
And ask you then
Where is the light?


Christy said...

Timely post (for me, not you......get some sleep!)

I just had a discussion with someone about an incident, a bad time in our relationship, and he said one thing, one thing that shook my perceptions--the ones I'd been holding onto?--and I tried to look at it differently.

Stop being my own defense lawyer.

It was so hard.

I had to stop.

No kidding.

Even in my own head.


neutron said...

Funny, it's 1 AM again and here I am. I guess old habits die hard.

Anyway, glad to hear you managed to step back for a moment and see things from a different perspective. This kind of objectivity can go a long way.

And yes, it's hard, but it gets easier.

Christy said...

Thanks for the comment on my blog btw. About not forgetting the past?

I did answer, and yes, I agree that a rational look back, knowlege of the past is invaluable!

People tend to get stuck, though, and they aren't really learning, they're wallowing.

Makes the truth of it muddy.

Like the incident with the friend I was referring to.....I had the whole emotional "story" that I accepted as gospel, got all worked up with righteous indignation all the time, ruined many a day over a LIE, essentially I kept dwelling on.

If I could have, could, look at the real truth, humbly, coolly, and just learn, forgive myself, forgive him, move on....