Friday, June 13, 2008

Midnight madness.

It’s 10:30 am and I just woke up. You’re probably thinking it’s Friday and that either I should be at work (but slept in) or I’m a dead beat. Well, neither is correct … remember what I said about assumptions? I actually spent the whole night working and finally went to sleep a little after 6 am. So that makes less than 4.5 hours of sleep. You’re probably wondering why I’m going into such great detail about time, but it’s more for me than you –-just making sure I can still add. After I finished my undergrad, I promised myself that I’d never pull another all-nighter again (with exception only for hot steamy sex --of course). I wish I could say last night was all candle lights and champagne but instead, it was a little more like revenge of the nerds.

Times like these really make me wonder. Why am I doing this? Is it really worth it? Did my computer just wink at me?? Well, if the last one is of serious concern, then that pretty much answers it for you. In all honesty, it’s hard to say. And does it really matter? I mean we plan and plan, but does any of that truly make a difference? Look, I’m not suggesting we giveup and stop trying, but what I am suggesting is we’re little --all of us … each and every one. How many of you can honestly say you are where you thought you’d be? For better or worse, that’s another question, but I’m sure, all of us, with all our plans and dreams, things never worked out quite the way we thought they would. Even if you achieved a goal (big or small), I’m sure it came about an avenue you never even knew existed.

So what does it all mean? Do your best, work hard and plan knowing that your plans will never work out quite the way you made them. By extension, do your best, work hard and plan knowing that the reward is not truly yours. Welcome to the abyss.

“When you look into an abyss, the abyss also looks into you.” – Nietzsche.


Writeprocrastinator said...

"Did my computer just wink at me??"

You know it's time to take a couple of months...or years off, when everything is melting like a Dali painting, without taking hallucinogienics.

Manager Mom said...

Uhg... I feel your pain. I have been averaging about 5 hours every night this week and I am toe up exhausted.

neutron said...

writeprocrastinator, two more months and I'm outta this place ... counting days.

manager, just go easy on those long runs ;)

Writeprocrastinator said...

Then congrats, there is light at the end of the tunnel and it's not a train : )